Does It Ever Really Stop?

Calling the hotline after so many years makes me wonder if it ever will really stop.

The underlying flashbacks just waiting to erupt at any random trigger.

The lack of trust in new relationships.

The pain that never really left my side even though I moved on long ago ~

I still remembered the number.

1(866) 2 My Ally ~

And again, another young woman answered the other line.

Calmed me down.

Told her how taken back I was to have so much anxiety at work.

Needing to sneak in another office to make a secret call at work.

So familiar.

So reminiscent of my distant past.

I asked her how can this be happening when I am an advocate now ~ an online advocate ~ a writer for the abused ~

And yet I am riddled with anxiety ~ flooded with tears ~ remembering him and how much he once controlled me ~

He affects my present in ways I do not wish ~

He ruins my today ~

But not my tomorrow ~

Uncensored