Season of Tears

Just not sure if I am ever going to get it really right ~

This holiday season ~

This Season of Tears ~

She's been gone 19 years this Christmas Day ~

Seems like yesterday ~

The tears started earlier this year ~

Just before Thanksgiving ~

I realized on Thanksgiving that it is finally time to start my own traditions ~

So, yes, it is time to finally plan that getaway on Thanksgiving and Christmas ~

To just run away from it all ~

To not worry about trying to keep things the way they were ~

Because they have never really been the same since she left us that Sunny Christmas Day ~

I am tired of pretending that everything is normal when it's not ~

So away I go ~

But not this year ~ 

I wonder if Christmas will be sunny this year ~ 

I wonder if her light will shine down upon us like it did when she took her last breath ~

The aura of her spirit lingering with us as we said our final goodbyes ~

And thanked her for spending one last Christmas with us ~

The Last Best Christmas ~ 

Mama, I Miss You ~