A Peek Out Day in Heaven

Grandfather, I wonder what I would have called you
if I had been born before you died ~
Charles William Weber
They called you Buddy ~
I never seem to have a name for you.
Grandpa is a name for someone you know
All I know is what I've heard ~


She told us the story again.
We call her Nanny ~ You called her Irm ~
She said you would have been married 59 years this year
~ had you lived
She loved you so ~


She told us how you built every Coop, every Help House,
The Egg Room, The Ranch House,
the lawn, the swing set ~
She sold The Ranch House, The Egg Ranch
But she took the swing set with her
when she built a new house, a new life
after you left this life ~


So now I swing each time I visit her ~
If I swing west, I can look out and see Nan's home,
and I can swing as high as I want ~
Sometimes I like to swing east to look back and see your ranch
The walnut tree hangs its branches low,
and I cannot swing as high
looking back ~


All I know is what I see ~
I see your picture
in every kitchen
They say you look like my mother
and now my brother
but today you look like me ~
Furrowed brow, aged eyes


Sharon says "There's A Peek Out Day in Heaven"
Were you with me along the way?


The ranch sold again. 
It is no longer a ranch.
No chickens to raise ~
Eggs to buy ~
Weeds ~ a fence ~ between your ranch and Nan's house
Still we can see
the coops you built
now falling down
the lawn you planted
patches of brown
I can no longer walk the fifty yards of river rock
slipping, burrowing into the rubber soles of my canvas shoes
on the way to The Egg Room
to watch the eggs roll down the chute
Magical Glow of a yolk inspection
Weigh, sort
Carton or Flat today?
Tickety tick of an ancient adding machine
Welcome aroma of those not selected
Ironic pleasure
Just slightly rotten ~ now tossed aside


The refrigerator is warm today.
There is no handcart to stand on ~ roll around that wonderful chilly room ~
To simply lean back
Look up ~
Grasp the metal bars
Cold and Thick ~
"Now Push Me! Push Me!"
Let someone design this ride ~


Little girl laughing
 ~ spinning ~
around A Pyramid of Egg Crates


What I know is what I feel ~
You were the one
who designed
those magical rides
in that wonderful chilly room ~


Cuz Sharon says "There's a Peek Out Day in Heaven"

 



by Robin Rebecca Rhodes, Summer of 1992