Three Miles Out

The day my mother died the sun was shining

Dad opened the curtains and left the sun shining on her ~

Now it rains ~

And I look out the window and say,

"The world is mourning my mother."

~ January 8, 1995 ~

I remembered this poem yesterday as I stood on the cliffs of West Cliff Drive.  The waves were spectacular, and many people were milling about after a long work day ~ gazing down at the brave surfers riding multiple waves into the shore.

As I was leaving, I was reminded to blow a kiss.  How could I ever forget to blow a kiss?  Surely, I must have automatically blown one from the car as we turned the corner from downtown to the wharf.  A reflex now to blow a kiss every time I see a peek of the ocean ~

I blew my kiss.  And then I remembered that I have three people to blow a kiss out there to each time I see a peek of the ocean.  Both her and our Nanny Greene.  And now Cameron's Little JaRon.

We scattered Mom's ashes on Valentine's Day 1995.  El Nino hit shortly after her death on Christmas Day with the New Year 1995.  It was not Dad's original plan to wait seven weeks to scatter her ashes as many thought.  But the rain kept coming and coming.  He finally booked the Chardonnay II for Valentine's Day with the hope that the rains would finally stop.  And stop they did.  Valentine's Day 1995 was the first sunny day we had in nearly six weeks.  A warm sunny day to celebrate Mom's life.  We sailed three miles out from her Beloved Boardwalk.  

The boys were so little then.  Rhonda's two sons ~ only 8 and 11.  Oh, how they loved their "Ma" ~ who Josh used to call "The Muffin Man" as he recognized her Sweet Smile from the colorful character in the childhood book she read him as a toddler.

I remember Dad crouching at the edge of the boat and saying a prayer that I could not completely hear as he released her ashes into the sea.  Throughout this journey, we played the soundtrack from "Somewhere in Time" ~ Mom's favorite film ~ music that has always moved me ~ but felt especially spiritual on this day ~

And just as we inched toward shore, the soundtrack came to a complete close as our journey three miles out had ended.  I thought about her favorite movie "Somewhere in Time" and wondered if I would ever travel through time to meet up with My Dear Mother again in my dreams ~

Mama (center) with Dad and Nanny Greene

at Carlsbad State Beach circa 1980