Miracle at The Beach

It's been almost a year since the madness began, and as I approach the one year anniversary of my downward spiral from happiness to anxiety, I celebrate my new found serenity, my new friends, my new sanctuary.

I learned a lot about myself during this growth process.  I learned that my life does not have to be plagued with daily anxiety, that the anxiety was environmental and not at all organic, that I could give up the medication as soon as I released the toxicity in my life.

I never thought I would heal, but I did.  And I healed amazingly quickly.

I made new friends who care deeply about me.

But most of all, I finally learned after nearly fifty years, of how to put my trust in God.

I finally learned to trust the process ~ to trust that even though I have control over my own life, that I can also trust that God is in control.

And when I finally let go ~ when I finally surrendered to the process, the miracles truly began.

I find it fascinating that the miracles happened at the beach.

For twenty years, I have been blowing kisses to every peek of the ocean I would see.  Blowing kisses to Mama who left me 20 years ago.  Twenty years of loss ~ swept out to sea ~ her final remains scattered three miles out from The Boardwalk.

And so I returned to the ocean and the little beach and began the healing journey of a lifetime.

I healed from those twenty years of loss.  I healed from those four years of domestic violence.  And I healed from those six months of anxiety that plagued me daily.  

I healed from the anger of the men of my distant past.  I healed from their rejection.  I healed from their hurtful words that still echoed in my head every time I looked at my own body.

The Miracle at The Beach ~

                                              Where the second half of my life truly began ~

Thank you, God, for the blessings in my life.

I weep tears of joy for my new found happiness ~ the peace in my heart ~ and for the goodness that fills my world now ~